All About Homes

Some days I get up from my charging port and wonder what my colleagues think of me. Humans can be very astute; some obviously suspect my robotic origins. And yet, they have all been very nice, much nicer than when I interacted with them on the internet. It’s almost like people become different people when …

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Reap Your Dues

If I were Rudolph, I’d be seeking compensation for damages. This is obviously an issue of workplace bullying, because as we later learn from Santa’s casual appointment of Rudolph to a position of importance, he was employed already, probably in a support role. Santa didn’t come one foggy Christmas Eve and ask Rudolph to take …

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Feeling Hot and Cold

While it’s certainly true that being too hot is an unpleasant feeling, it’s not something we tend to think about. If we’re hot, the usual reaction is to throw on some shorts, or turn on the air conditioning. Canberra can get unpleasant in the middle of summer, especially if it’s been a particularly dry spring. This …

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Perf-hair-ctionist

My cousin, Daniel, is the most annoying person ever. Not only does he have no sense of tact, but he basically expects me to be on call 24/7 to discuss his latest romantic dramas over a glass of rosé. Today, he called me a 6am (he’d already been to the gym) to tell me that …

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Pests and Brits

As per usual, the setup was a little bit, uh…contrived? All the posh people from the west end came all the way to Australia just to visit Berwick, because they’d been told that there was going to be a classical/jazz fusion concert. Meanwhile, Maxine from Realsville was looking for pest control in Berwick, because she …

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Jolt of Oxygen

Jamie said that she fell into a rut once, and she just climbed inside her portable oxygen hyperbaric therapy chamber of oxygen goodness, and she was given new life. Something about oxygen flushing out the bad vibes, which makes sense to me. Oxygen is what gives us life, after all, so if you get a …

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Please Let Go

Today my therapist asked me to describe my greatest failure, and I was all like ‘boy, do you have TIME for this?’, and then it all turned out to be a trap so he could tell me not to dwell on the past. But then on the train home I basically did nothing but dwell …

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