Dear Mr Stone,
I couldn’t work out how to write a comment on your blog post, so I decided to post my own blog content on another website. I hope you are able to find it. I must confess, I know little about this Internet, despite obtaining the best wireless connection your planet had to offer. I am typing this from my home planet of Gasmoxion, able to connect to your Internet through my expert wifi.
Your enthusiasm for meeting all my Melbourne steel fabrication needs is much appreciated. However, I regret to inform you that my interest in the parking lot project has waned somewhat since I won the Parking Lot Cup, defeating Earth’s champion: Magnus Opus. As I cheated in the final race, the victory never truly felt earned, and every time I considered building the giant parking lot, I was met with copious amounts of guilt and shame. Since then, I have been visiting a therapist, trying to move past this weakness. So far, however, I have had no luck. Thus, the project is on hold until further notice.
I am sure this comes as a great disappointment to you and your team, but rest assured that if I ever need steel products near Melbourne, you will be the first person I get in contact with. For now, you may continue to use your miserable planet without fear of it being turned into an intergalactic parking lot.
Before I finish this post, I would just like to point out my appreciation for your professionalism. While you expressed your issues with the concept of an intergalactic parking lot in the first place, you were willing to undergo the job anyway. This is something I rarely see from contractors, and you have earned my utmost respect.
Take care, and may you find great steel projects to undertake.
Love and cuddles,
Your future supreme ruler, Nitrous Dioxide.