No Boat For Me

I don’t ask for much from life: just some a couple of good friends, a calling that makes me feel like I’m making a difference, and a very large boat that’s all mine. That’s basically nothing!

All my friends have boats, and they like nothing better than to rub it in. “Come out boating with us, Carlita! And by boating, we don’t mean being on each other’s boats, we actually mean we all get on our separate boats and wave to each other, laughing like stock photo models! What do you mean you don’t have enough deep connections in the stainless steel marine welding industry to have a customised boat of your own?”

I’m running out of excuses at this point. They all go out every weekend, having a wonderful time, and I’m left on the shore plotting dark revenge. I actually sit here and plot how I’m going to get myself into the marine welding industry, so I can have a boat, like everyone who works there apparently has. That’s how life works…yes, surely! I’m supposed to be an heiress, though, so now that I don’t have my own boat I’m left with few options.

I could marry someone very high up in the marine welding industry of course, but that takes time, time I do not have. I could get a job, but that’s absolute crazy talk. I’m not supposed to work, ever! I know it’s a more enlightened time, when women can be marine welding professionals as well, but I wasn’t born for that life. One day of proper work would wipe me out, then it’s no boating trips for anyone. Well, none for me. All my friends would keep going, fitting new snapper racks and occasionally mentioning poor Carlita, that girl we used to know who didn’t have a boat, and it finally broke her in the end.

I’m at a loose end. Time for plan D: pretend I’m deathly allergic to salt water.