Clarence is going on one of his home decor spirals again. I’ve got half a mind to pull him out of it, after what happened last time. For those playing along at home, that was the upholstered bathroom incident. Let’s just say it didn’t pan out well for his bank account, and he sulked for months afterwards. But I’m going to refrain from getting involved, because I also remember what happened when I tried to intervene on that occasion.
Clarence, you see, is a rather touchy person, and he can’t stand the thought of people underestimating his self control. The problem is that he himself tends to overestimate it, which leads him to (a) go on wild spending binges unannounced and (b) fly off the handle when someone tries to pull him up on that behaviour.
Look, at the end of the day, it’s not my problem if he wants to drop all his savings on a custom kitchen installation on a whim. It’s no skin off my nose, except that it kind of is if he’s going to carry on about how he’s ruined his financial prospects for months afterwards. You just can’t win with this guy. I’m amazed that I’m still friends with him, and I can only assume it’s because of his incredible eye for design, which somehow works its way into all facets of his presentation. Like, he throws brilliant dinner parties, serves dazzling cocktails and gives gifts that put everyone else’s taste and ingenuity to shame.
It’s the same tendency that gets him into trouble, though. Take the time he decided to create a file of bathroom renovations ideas. Melbourne style aficionados might not find this particularly out of the ordinary, so it must be noted that Clarence did this immediately after getting (drum roll) a bathroom reno. Like, the very same day. He’d barely besmirched his new designer toilet before he was compiling thoughts about how to do it better next time.